Devout of Dungeon Deities: A Cleric for Petty Gods

Is it really an OSR blog if you don't have a post with your own personal interpretation of the Cleric (or Thief, as appropriate)? 

"Invoker" is the catch-all name for those who channel the power of the divine. From the shining priests and paladins of the Trinity, to the innumerable chosen of Beogh the Brigand and reviled necromancers of Kikubaaqudgha, all are Invokers who swear fealty in return for their power. Even those who commit their lives to other pursuits may pledge themselves to a small god, and be rewarded for their devotion. While the gods are many, and their laws varied, one rule is true for all who invoke godly power: you may follow only one god, to the exclusion of all others. The gods are small in more ways than one, and will not allow a soul within their domain to be shared with another god.  

In this, Clerics are unique. None can truly explain what part of the Human spirit is different from that of any other being, but they are the only known species that benefits from a well-hidden technique that allows them to bypass the divine laws of exclusive worship. With rituals and techniques painstakingly perfected over years of study, Clerics may invoke the powers of many gods, without drawing their attention or invoking their wrath.

For these reasons, most "true" Invokers look down on Clerics. They are seen as vile thieves, disgusting heretics, or at a minimum, bastard priests of nothing. Few cults will accept Clerics into their ranks, either out of fear that their god will punish them by association, or from sheer hatred. Thus, Clerics most often find friends among the rogues and the outcasts, those who appreciate their talents and utility without any special care for the metaphysical implications of their capability. 

The Cleric of Petty Gods

The Cleric is a Human warrior, trained in unique techniques that allow them to Invoke divine power without needing to be the follower of a given small god. They train to fight in heavy armor and use shields without penalty. With the power of Relics, Clerics may invoke the power of many different deities, though at a limited capacity compared to dedicated Invokers.  

Turn Undead 

The first power that any Cleric learns, suspected by outsiders to be the key to whatever loophole the Cleric relies on for their powers. The Cleric may raise their weapon to the sky and invoke the name of Zin, frightening or even outright destroying undead beings within earshot. 

Turn Undead may be performed as an action, and requires that the Cleric hold aloft an edgeless weapon and shout at the top of their lungs. The effects of Turn Undead are drawn from whichever game you like, I'm not writing it all out for the umpteenth time.

In return for their powers, a Cleric may never strike an enemy with a slashing or piercing weapon. If they do, the Cleric would instantly and permanently lose all the abilities of the Cleric class, and never again be able to regain them: the Cleric becomes a Fighter, and loses 1 level of experience as punishment. 
The extreme training needed to become a Cleric makes it practically impossible for them to break this rule against their will, such as by an enemy controlling their mind: they will either drop the weapon, destroy or discard it, or if needed, maim or destroy their own body so that it is not capable of making the attack. Only the Cleric may decide to make the fatal attack and strip themselves of their power.

Miracles

A Cleric may Invoke Miracles of petty gods, using a Relic that they have bonded to (see below). To Invoke the Miracle, the Cleric must be holding (or wearing, if it is something that can be worn) the required Relic, and spend a round (or more) reciting a prayer. Once done, the Miracle occurs. Unlike spells or other effects, a Miracle has no chance of failure or mishap (unless it is baked into the Miracle itself), nor can its effects be blocked or prevented by items that negate magic spells.

Once a Miracle is Invoked, the associated god has become Vexed: The Cleric should not Invoke the same Miracle, nor any other Miracle of the same god, until the next sunrise. If they do so anyway, the Cleric will suffer Divine Wrath from the god. Attempting to Invoke a miracle from the same god a third time is an extremely bad idea. 

Bonding with a Relic

A Cleric must be Bonded with a Relic before they can Invoke with it. Only one person can be Bonded to a Relic, and the bonded Relic may only be used by its bonded Cleric. A Cleric can always identify their  own Relics as soon as they see them; they can also see if a Relic is bound to someone else, and divine that person's alignment from the relic alone.

A Level 1 Cleric starts play with a single Bonded Relic; Additional Relics will require an Attunement Ritual.

An Attunement Ritual for an Aligned god takes an amount of days equal to the number of Relics that the Cleric already has Bonded. During this time, the Cleric must be in an enclosed space, and spend their time doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and performing the various rites and prayers required of the ritual. The Ritual also has a material cost, costing [Level x 100] gp. If the Cleric is already bound to a number of Relics equal to or greater than their current Level, the price grows as the ritual's complexity does: each additional Relic past the cleric's level doubles the cost of the ritual. Price and duration are reduced by half if the Cleric is already bonded to a Relic of the same god.

e.g. A 2nd level Cleric with 3 Relics attuned must pay 800 gp to attune a fourth one, and spend 3 days performing the Ritual. If the Cleric were 3rd level the ritual would cost only 600 gp.  

If the Relic's God is Unaligned, the ritual's price is doubled, and the ritual takes an extra two days. Lawful Invokers (including Clerics) are Aligned with Lawful gods, unaligned with Neutral gods, and opposed to Chaotic gods. Chaotic Invokers are the reverse; for Neutral Invokers, both Lawful and Chaotic gods are considered Opposite. Most gods of this land are Neutral, however.

A Cleric may decide to break their Bond with any Relic they are Bonded to by performing a Breaking Ritual, which takes one hour and requires a set of Black Candles (200 gp). Any amount of Bonds can be broken in a single Breaking Ritual. 

Stolen Relics

If trying to perform a Bonding ritual on an artifact Bonded to another person, that Bond must first be broken. Breaking another's Bond requires a day-long Breaking Ritual; if the Relic's current owner is is one level of experience greater than the breaking Cleric, the cost of the breaking ritual is increased to 2000 gp. If they have two or more levels more, the bond is too powerful to break through a ritual; the Bond can only be broken either by the owner's death, increasing the breaking cleric's level, or by having the relic's god Excommunicate them. 

Clerics who rob rival Invoker should be cautious, however, as other Invokers have much more powerful bonds to their Relics; they will often have ways to track the item down, or possibly even deliver retribution through the Relic itself, once they realize it is missing. 

Starting Miracles

1. Cure Light Wounds 

God: Elyvilon 

Relic: A thick copper ring, turning green from oxidation.

Effect: Touched living creature recovers 1d6+[lvl] HP. May instead be used to cure Paralysis. Undead may be Attacked with this, damaging instead of healing.

2. Light

God: The Shining One
Relic: A golden circlet, with a shining sun on the front. 
Effect: Spot within 50’ glowing brightly, illuminating a 30’ area for 2 hours. You may try to blind a creature by casting this on their face (save negates). You choose the light color.

3. Protection From Evil

God: Zin

Relic: A wooden shield, with a silver symbol of purity on its front.
Effect: A barrier appears around you, protecting you from “Evil” (Creatures of opposite alignment). Evil creatures may not physically touch the barrier, nor make melee attacks through it; ranged attacks and spells will still pass, but the protected gets +2 to Saves/AC. Protection lasts 1 hour, but ends instantly if you make any attacks. If you’re at least 4^th level, the Barrier also protects allies within 10’, or it may be cast on the ground instead; breaking if you/allies attack, or you move more than 60’ away. 

4. Purify Food or Drink
God: Elyvilon
Relic: A simple wooden spoon, polished clean yet smelling strongly of spices 
Effect: make spoiled or poisoned food/drink edible. Affects 2 rations of food, 3 skins of water or wine, or enough “regular” food to feed 6 people per cleric level.

Alternatively, may be used on an ally, or on an opponent (w/ save). The target will then throw up violently, stunning them for 1d2 rounds and giving +3 to any saving throws to resist the effects of any toxin ingested in the last 10 minutes.

5. Rites
God: Zin
Relic: A rosary of silver beads, each of which is inscribed with a short prayer
Effect: Pray for 10 minutes. When you finish, all creatures touching you (including you) receive [lvl+2] temporary hit points that last 1 hour. 

Alternatively, may be used as Last Rites for an ally slain in the last 48 hours. The burial takes an hour, either burying them in soil or otherwise giving them an honorable sendoff (e.g. burial at sea, lowered into magma), along with their most treasured weapon or item. Once completed, all who attended get 10% of the fallen’s XP.

6. Bless

God: The Shining One

Relic: An iron nasal helm, laced with gold, with elaborate symbols along its rims

Effect: Allies within 30’ receive +1 to Attack and Damage, as well as +1 to saves vs Fear. Hirelings also receive +1 to Morale checks. This effect lasts [level] Turns; any allies in melee at the time of casting do not receive the blessing.
Alternatively, you may Bless a single item for the duration of the spell, temporarily making it immune to Notching, and capable of harming ghostly beings. Item size is limited to 1 slot per 2 cleric levels.

7. Remove Fear

God: Elyvilon
Relic: A glass mask, unfit for any humanoid face
Effect: Cure an ally of magical Fear, and grant them +4 to saves vs. Fear for the next 10 minutes.
Alternatively, you may use it on a Hireling who has failed a Morale check, allowing them to roll again.

8. Mend
God: The Shining One
Relic: A small golden hammer, with a perfect gemstone inlaid on its face.

Effect: Remove a Notch from 1 piece of equipment per 2 Cleric levels (round up).
Alternatively, you may heal an ally 3 HP, but only from the last wound they’ve taken in the last 10 minutes.